[fabulous love life...or even just a few dates!] 3/27/2003 3:12:55 PM

 

Real Online Dating

More from Charlize, (not her real name-). There were a few of her comments a couple of weeks ago. See below. She's a smart, attractive, over 40 veteran of the online dating scene. And I'm a boomer starting over with real questions about dating and the online scene. Charlize answers some of my questions with her acknowledged honesty. Your feedback and your own experiences are of course most welcome.

1. What's different about dating and sex after 40/after 50?
I cannot speak for men so much, but as an over 40 woman I get a lot of interest from very young men. They
are awfully persistent even when you tell them no half a dozen times. Although some women may find this exciting, I don't want to go out with someone my kid's age and lets face it what the heck can you talk to them about! As far as them being so great in bed, I th! ink that is highly over-rated.

2. How many men have you met online?
Well I've met over 70 men in person and have seen only 5 a second time so you must have energy and time to commit or else you're gonna be settling for the first few fish that swim by you.

3. Is online dating really about never being without a date again?
As the ratio of men to women is about 3 to 1 in my experience. It is no problem for a woman to have as many
dates as she can handle. Unfortunately the odds are stacked against the men, and a kick-ass on-line ad is essential. Spelling mistake, improper grammar, and bragging about the size of your "tool" are definite turn offs for me. I skip those ads faster than white lightening.

4. Is there really a sex and the city scene for single boomers?
Well what can I say things are very different in the sexual arena from when we were teens. Of course
safe sex should be practiced at all times, and should! go without saying.

5. Any rules to pass one?
-Get over the hang-up that quality people aren't online or that quality people shouldn't be taking advantage of the online.
-Meet as many people as you can because people talk. If you're not right for xxxx they may tell a friend who is right for you.
-Screen out obvious undesired ones, but at least give others a chance to show what can't be really shown well online-the real person.
-Young men will chase older women. - can you say "COUGAR". Enjoy it if you like it.

6. What makes them answer your ad?
You can write-your picture is clear-> your not overly pushy-> they match you up
For many men-woman says she likes sports, for women-man says he's financially secure

7. What do over 40 men want. Any different than younger men ?
Usually sex, sex, sex, or looking for their soulmates!

8. What do over 40 women want?
For many looking to snag a man with means! who can lavish them with riches. Or at least give them hope that this will happen (my comment)

9. How careful do you have to be?
Some advice for men-When women are too careful you might want to run too. If they are not interested in meeting for a coffee or drink and you don't make them give any private details in advance, like phone, address, etc., then I think you got all the signals you need.

10. When do you get physical?
Although I have a three rule date on this one, there have been a few times when the attraction has been so strong
that I have been mightly tempted to break that rule, but those instances are few and far between.

11. What if she(he) says she(he) wants to go slowly? What does it really mean?
I say see has issues, usually unresolved from an ex-boyfriend, husband, and is scared to hop into another relationship quickly. Although this is admirable, these women can be very wishy washy and tend to pla! y games.

12. What should you lie about for a while? What should you be honest about?
I make it a rule never to lie about anything, those always come back to bite you in the ass.

And I'm still asking myself how do I get a date with that perfect mid 40's woman: looks like 30, the wisdom of 50, the physical needs of a 20 yr old and can talk a great game of baseball or golf before we watch that chick flick. Charlize told me bluntly as I walk out after we finished, "Keep It Real Boy"! And I know it.

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Posted by Bob Rempel to fabulous love life...or even just a few dates! at 3/27/2003 3:12:55 PM

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