Will this getting to know each other system work?

How do you accelerate the personal discovery process in a new relationship that can help it grow and become stronger? Don't really want to wait a few months to find out all the important stuff that can make the relationship stronger or in the end become relationship breakers. Most of us have little patience in this fast paced world and perhaps that slight amount of raw desperation at middle age make us want to make it move faster.

I came across this book from Michael Webb with questions that couples can ask each other. Includes a unique way for couples to email a few questions every day or two to each other to keep in touch and understand better at the same time. It's available through this site. What are the key questions you want to ask someone you are attracted to. Money, job, previous failed relationships, how do you like it when I touch you here, etc.? I vote for trying to reach a higher level of intimacy (emotional and physical) after some basic screening.

1000 Questions For Couples

from the "I get all my best material from the sports pages department"
Winnipeg Free Press, C3, March 30/03

Sports Illustrated asked Jamie Sale and David Pelletier, Olympic figure skating champions, who have been dating for three years, if they ever get turned on while skating. "You know what I'm thinking about?" Pelletier answered. "I'm thinking about staying vertical, and I'm not talking about the little guy."

Tiger Woods won the Bay Hill Invitational by 11 strokes despite getting sick on the final day from bad pasta prepared by his Swedish girlfriend, Elin Nordegren. Says Ron Rapoport of the Chicago Sun Times: "He wants her to cook, too?"

and this golf widow funny:

Woman whose husband has just died goes into the local newspaper office to get an obituary published. The obt editor informs her there is a charge of 50 cents a word. She reflects and says, "Make it read, 'Bob Smith died.' " Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her there is a seven-word minimum. After thinking it over, she says, 'Let it read, 'Bob Smith died. Golf clubs for sale'."

Was thinking about what is a reasonably normal amount of sexual activity for a mid life person, 40's, 50's, no real health problems? Has motive and (regular) opportunity as they say in the police shows. Or have the Viagra and other pharmaceuticals made us believe that everyone else in that age group is making it like rabbits and we want to get in on it too. "The Viagra Blues-who sang it". The Boomer Generation doesn't want to age and probably still wants the level of activity of their youth but is it just leading to sex depression. The quest for statistical and anecdotal info begins for this intrepid writer.

While I'm on the subject, which is more important to helping a relationship grow or stay strong-a wonderful physical love life-ongoing (not once in a blue moon when all the stars are aligned) or great communication channels? Does it change if there are external problems or challenges either of the two people are facing?

Do you know you're doomed if you come across a quiz like this and you start thinking about how it's going to happen in your relationship.... or are you just being a realist. Being that real probably means you've got too much ice water in your veins. Appropriate songs: "Make up just to break up" by ? or "Breaking Up is Hard To Do", by Neil Sedaka.
Quiz-How to breakup with style

From Beer Belly To Washboard Abshttp://askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/41_fitness_tip.html

[fabulous love life...or even just a few dates!] 3/27/2003 3:12:55 PM

 

Real Online Dating

More from Charlize, (not her real name-). There were a few of her comments a couple of weeks ago. See below. She's a smart, attractive, over 40 veteran of the online dating scene. And I'm a boomer starting over with real questions about dating and the online scene. Charlize answers some of my questions with her acknowledged honesty. Your feedback and your own experiences are of course most welcome.

1. What's different about dating and sex after 40/after 50?
I cannot speak for men so much, but as an over 40 woman I get a lot of interest from very young men. They
are awfully persistent even when you tell them no half a dozen times. Although some women may find this exciting, I don't want to go out with someone my kid's age and lets face it what the heck can you talk to them about! As far as them being so great in bed, I th! ink that is highly over-rated.

2. How many men have you met online?
Well I've met over 70 men in person and have seen only 5 a second time so you must have energy and time to commit or else you're gonna be settling for the first few fish that swim by you.

3. Is online dating really about never being without a date again?
As the ratio of men to women is about 3 to 1 in my experience. It is no problem for a woman to have as many
dates as she can handle. Unfortunately the odds are stacked against the men, and a kick-ass on-line ad is essential. Spelling mistake, improper grammar, and bragging about the size of your "tool" are definite turn offs for me. I skip those ads faster than white lightening.

4. Is there really a sex and the city scene for single boomers?
Well what can I say things are very different in the sexual arena from when we were teens. Of course
safe sex should be practiced at all times, and should! go without saying.

5. Any rules to pass one?
-Get over the hang-up that quality people aren't online or that quality people shouldn't be taking advantage of the online.
-Meet as many people as you can because people talk. If you're not right for xxxx they may tell a friend who is right for you.
-Screen out obvious undesired ones, but at least give others a chance to show what can't be really shown well online-the real person.
-Young men will chase older women. - can you say "COUGAR". Enjoy it if you like it.

6. What makes them answer your ad?
You can write-your picture is clear-> your not overly pushy-> they match you up
For many men-woman says she likes sports, for women-man says he's financially secure

7. What do over 40 men want. Any different than younger men ?
Usually sex, sex, sex, or looking for their soulmates!

8. What do over 40 women want?
For many looking to snag a man with means! who can lavish them with riches. Or at least give them hope that this will happen (my comment)

9. How careful do you have to be?
Some advice for men-When women are too careful you might want to run too. If they are not interested in meeting for a coffee or drink and you don't make them give any private details in advance, like phone, address, etc., then I think you got all the signals you need.

10. When do you get physical?
Although I have a three rule date on this one, there have been a few times when the attraction has been so strong
that I have been mightly tempted to break that rule, but those instances are few and far between.

11. What if she(he) says she(he) wants to go slowly? What does it really mean?
I say see has issues, usually unresolved from an ex-boyfriend, husband, and is scared to hop into another relationship quickly. Although this is admirable, these women can be very wishy washy and tend to pla! y games.

12. What should you lie about for a while? What should you be honest about?
I make it a rule never to lie about anything, those always come back to bite you in the ass.

And I'm still asking myself how do I get a date with that perfect mid 40's woman: looks like 30, the wisdom of 50, the physical needs of a 20 yr old and can talk a great game of baseball or golf before we watch that chick flick. Charlize told me bluntly as I walk out after we finished, "Keep It Real Boy"! And I know it.

Feedback



--
Posted by Bob Rempel to fabulous love life...or even just a few dates! at 3/27/2003 3:12:55 PM

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There are now about 5 great detailed articles on putting (free-no gotcha's) available at Strictlysports.com
If you want to lower your golf score this summer, like I was able to lower mine, I'd recommend you read these articles. Signup at the site for an email that tells you how to download articles. Lower Your Golf Score

I've put up the Chi Chi Rodriquez used book up for auction at Ebay Chi Chi 101 Supershots Book. What caught me eye as I looked through it again was the great assortment of shots he teaches/depicts that I haven't seen together too many other places. Great names: High Flyer, Tree Dodger, Parachuter. Hardpan Handler. Worth every penny you get if for if you want to lower your golf score.

From The Bottom Of The Basket!
Here's some lighthearted fluff I found at the bottom at the in basket about men's rules. I wouldn't advise men to use these or give them to any woman they care about. Just for us guys to share. For women, even if they are just a wee bit accurate about someone in your life, past, present or future, please don't hold our emotional constipation against us.

As written by someone else (Source unknown)
____________
Please note ...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Free counters provided by Andale.

Online Dating-Worth A Try?
I say yes from personal experience and the comments of others.
We've got a new site that will always have fresh content about online dating, dating in general, how to's re a fabulous love life and romance, and all things related. Aimed at those starting over at 40 or 50 but we'll keep it relevant to all singles. Yes it helps if you enjoy some aspect of sports and recreation as well. It's at Fabulous love life....or just a few dates!

Have You Got Match? Take This Quick Search Test.

Charlize (not her real name), over 40 and attractive, with a life, is a online dating veteran with over 70 dates, from online meetings, she says. We'll have some of her comments over the next few weeks on a regular basis.

She is talking about the rules for dating after 40/50 and managing the online dating minefield.
"Beware of people who describe then selves as "a few extra pounds" and then turn out to be a Rita McNeil's look-a-like when you meet. Ditto for men can you say "beer gut and plumbers butt!""

Learn how to weed out the kooks. If their first message is overtly sexually explicit, or they send you pictures of their body parts, chances are they are nutty and you want to stay away. Men tend to do this more than women... must be a guy thing. I always tell them that I guess if we plan to meet, they are gonna have to come into the coffee shop with their pants pulled down, as that is the only way I will be able to recognize them from their picture!"

We'll have more of her comments. If someone is not willing to send over a picture and meet you in an absolutely non threatening environment, what does that mean? Sends bad signals, as Charlize says. Offer to let them pick the meeting spot.

Dating Game is Changing-February 10/03

Dating Game is Changing-February 10/03 USA Today

Feedback

This may become the theme for the dating portion of this site: "Do I ask too much?"
from a recent USA Today article. See link above.

"Some frustrated singles are getting desperate. Thomas Flocks, 43, of Nevada City, Calif., says he actually got engaged to a girl he met on the Internet. "But she ended up remarrying her ex-husband."
Flocks is in the market again. "I'm a sensitive guy who likes to cuddle," he says. His requirements are not too stringent. He says he wants "a non-drinker, non-drug user, good-looking, semi-virginal, a woman with all her teeth, who knows how to use a fork properly, has no external body parts pierced except the bottom of her ears, with no tattoos, and who is not on welfare. Do I ask too much?"
Some of today's singles are asking too much. Some are just caught in changing times. "This generation is pioneering a new way of going about dating," Whitehead says. "Pioneers always confront challenges and obstacles along the way.""

Dating Rules:

Intro:
The other day, I had someone say she had to break up with me because it didn't seem we were compatible. The only problem was I didn't think there was any kind of relationship. A quick kiss maybe, a date and a half but there hadn't been any pledges of undying love. How can you break something up that hasn't even begun to grow. Ahhh. the minefields of dating after 40 or 50. The power person has to break things off first. As George Constanza said the other day in a classic Seinfeld rerun, as his date at the time pre-empted him and told him in the coffee shop, (I paraphrase), "George, we've got to split up, It's not you it's me, I'm not ready." To which George replies, "You can't use that line, that's mine and I was going to use it first."

We've got a number of Dating Rules to put out on this blog, most from first hand experience of a number of qualified "daters". Some apply to all dating, others to the hugely popular online dating scene. We'll try and have some fun with the dating game and maybe help a few people along the way.

Watch for them over the next while. You'll have a comments and feedback option so you can tell others your first hand stories as well.

Marketplace: Dating: Meeting Beautiful Women System (his title)


You can tell not just golf and baseball are on my mind as spring approaches


Meet Beautiful Women System

From ESPN Page 2-What do men want

OK guys, here it is. The Quiz. Page 2 and SportsNation are teaming up to, once and for all, decipher what you are thinking when the game is on and your significant other walks in front of the TV ...
Read the questions carefully and select your answers ...


1) As a man, which you are most looking for in a significant other?

A. A woman who will let me watch sports, but doesn't really understand it
B. A woman who knows just as much about sports as I do

2) How much does your current significant other know about sports?

A. She can diagram a 'cover-two' defense
B. She can tell you what team Brett Favre plays for
C. She picks games by the mascots
D. She wouldn't watch a game at gunpoint
E. I just wish I had a significant other

3) Of women with equal physical beauty, which would you find more appealing?

A. A woman who thinks Walter Payton could be Peyton Manning's father
B. A woman who actually knows that the white Peyton threw for 4,200 yards this season, while the black Payton's career yard rushing total was 16,726

4) Do you permit your significant other to watch football with you and the guys?

A. Absolutely
B. Only if it's the only way I can watch
C. Absolutely not

5) Is a ballgame an appropriate place for a first date?

A. Definitely
B. Not if you're hoping for a second date

Marketplace-New Golf Ebooks

Keys To A Repeating Golf Swing


Break 70 Golf System:New

Marketplace: New


Five Dates A Week Dating System