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Monday, March 31, 2008

I Love You...Let's Work It Out!

My lady friend/lover said, "what a perfect title" ...about how couples need to approach the major issues that arise from time to time in their relationship.  I had just told her that this book-I Love You, Let's Work It Out by David Viscott had just sold from my library at the ever growing Redeux Products online store.  Search our inventory for this and other relationship books here.

We too have had our share of difficulties, and we are learning a bit along the way how to keep ourselves together.  It starts with feeling like you were meant for each other and remembering the big love (and passion) that was easily acknowledged between you two, we believe. It also starts, we believe, with accepting the commitment you made earlier and taking responsibility for what it entails.  

I see Viscott saying much the same thing as I page through the book quickly before it goes out the door to help another couple hopefully.

He quotes Shakespeare the flyleaf, "He love not who does not show his love".  I liked the Happiest Couples short poem that ends the book.

"The Happiest Couples share a unique view of the world.

The happiest couples are partners in a destiny they create together

No one is bound to be what the other cannot achieve

Each is his own person and free

The present is without debts.

The moment is without fear

The answer is I love you.

The question is unimportant"

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Viscott also devotes a large chapter to sexual relations.  He says in another way what I know from experience and in my layman ways have suggested couples give equal or even greater effort and focus to as well as all the other things that need atttention. 

Viscott, "It has often been said when sex is bad it is a very large part of a relationship and when sex is good it is a very small part."  I suggest that the effort and time spent is as important as the end results.  Viscott suggests couples could prepare a lovemaking-sexual relations manual.   I think this could be part of their relationship notebook or folder, which most definitely has to have pictures of the happiest most loving times.

The sex relations manual would include the couples thoughts and feelings on the following, he says

1.  Our Erogenous Zones-the map of love

2. What Excites Me..You

3  How our feeling of romance help our sexual relations and what are they

4. What turns us off?

5. Planning spontaneity

6. How I need you to love me

7. Sharing fantasies-and acting on them

8. How should we experiment and continually grow our sexual relations/lovemaking.

So plan your spontaneity and plan to talk and write.

Are these the seven most powerful words for people in a relationship?  "I Love You...Let's Work it Out"   If not, what is?   Comments?

Have a great day!

B

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